My True Colors

I love this song, True Colors, by Cyndi Lauper, so much. I have always loved this song since it was first debuted, September 15, 1986, on her second album by the same name. It is a beautiful song and it is an emotional experience for me every time I listen to it.

For the longest time, I have wished that someone would see my true colors and to believe that I was beautiful like a rainbow. I longed for that and had come to believe that it was just a fantasy. Until one day, I realized something. This realization was a real breakthrough for me, in my own personal journey. It dawned on me that to possess a wish that someone would see something like this in me meant that it was there to be seen. This meant that I, Cindy, could see those true colors that were within me and see for myself how beautiful a person I was.

Throughout my recovery, one of the things I have been asked to do by sponsors, not to mention therapists, is to make a list of the things that were good about me. I had always found that very hard to do and my list was both short and at times, I felt, dishonest.

Now, through this song, I see myself from a whole new perspective and realize that there has been a lot of good in me all along; I just didn’t know how to look it at. I had to borrow this “fantasy someone’s eyes” to see what was there to be seen. This was the beginning, for me, of learning to love and accept myself as I am. And I am happy to tell you that I am a damn fine woman!

I am listening to Cyndi Lauper sing this masterpiece as I prepare this post and I almost hesitate to post it at all. It feels like such an intimate part of me that I want to keep it all to myself, not that you don’t already know the song, but how it connects to me and my soul. Please be gentle, listen, feel it’s true meaning,  and enjoy!

Advertisements

8 responses to “My True Colors

  1. There is lot of people who sees “true colors” of You.Each time when I look into depth of Your eyes I can see it.
    Thank You for You courage and for this amazing song.Be blessed!

  2. I, like you, find it hard to “truly” believe i have strengths and talents. It’s so easy to rattle off a list of faults and flaws. Oh, it’s so wonderful to be considered “humble”, but i don’t think it makes us “whole” by a long shot. Good for you for working on this. Excellent work. 🙂

    • Thank you, Melissa! The further into my recovery I go, the more of the good in me comes out. When I stopped doing the bad things, I no longer had a reason to hang onto them. Yes, I did them, but I am not doing them now, so it became time for me to do some self-spring cleaning. I was pleasantly surprised when I left my past right where it belonged, how bright and beautiful my present self really was. The more I reflected on the good, the more it became impossible not to see. A very healing experience!
      -Cindy

  3. It is always interesting to me that we can see our faults and share those in an inventory but it feels shameful in a different and difficult way to admit our strengths. this is tough work and you’re getting through it Cindy. well done.

    • Thank you! I think for me it was that I knew better than anyone how bad my bad was and I felt–How dare I?–give myself credit for the good when the bad clearly outweighs the bad. One of the things that helped me see the good is that I was no longer doing the bad, but had continued to do the good and even more good than before. I had to forgive myslef and let go of what was no longer a part of my life.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s