I follow many blogs of others in recovery, whether it is from drugs, alcohol, eating disorders—overeating, under or not eating, and manipulative eating. There are other types of addiction as well, such as gambling, sex, shopping, to name a few. I have read some incredible posts and have often thought of asking some of my fellow recovery bloggers if I could feature one of their posts under my Recovery Detours.
My son, Jeremiah, recently took a writing class at Portland Community College and wrote a reflection of his own addiction/recovery for an assignment. He received an A on his paper. So, to break my own nervous ice, I have asked if he would mind if I posted his experience as my first “Reflection of a Recovering Guest Blogger,” though he is not currently a blogger. He eagerly agreed, sent me a copy, and I am now presenting his story to you. Jeremiah is my oldest of two sons and will be 20 years old on July 14th of this year. He is currently awaiting a call from Job Corps in Astoria, OR, where he is on the waiting list. I miss him immensely and am so very proud of him!
I used to shake the bed with my tremors; at the time I could not sleep until I got nauseous. Alcoholism is no joke. There are plenty of reasons to cut yourself off after one or two. Before I share my experience, let me start by saying an hour or two of feeling good is not worth the hangover, or possibly a lifetime of black outs and regrets for actions that sometimes you don’t even remember.
The pain of withdrawing is mind numbing. It is like a hangover, but ten times worse. My stomach felt rotted, shriveled up, and my insides felt destroyed. I would be so weak, I couldn’t move other than the shakes I had no control over. Keeping something in my stomach was a real task. Even water was difficult, but booze went down great. Stupid, right? Trying to fix the problem with the cause—that’s an alcoholic for you.
The emotional dependency of alcohol depends on the person. For me, it was worse than the physical pain. When you are going through tough times, booze paints a better picture for you. I believe that it enables you to deal with life’s problems in a sober state of mind. To take a few swigs and have your problems go away is tempting and addictive. Your problems are what you make of them, big or small, a crutch is never needed.
As you can tell, booze took control of me. I sold my belongings, have stolen from stores, and robbed people for their cash. Of course, I am ashamed, but it is another reason to not let booze take the wheel. It is a mental illness and should be treated as one. The fact is when you are craving, you tend to rationalize the things you do, no matter what it is.
Overall, avoid addiction. The pain and emotional dependency—it’s all bad. It is better to be in control. I am not against drinking; I just believe in moderation. If you can drink one or two with friends and walk away, there is no problem. But, if you can’t, be careful, because all it takes is one drop, and the next thing you know, you’re drowning.
If anyone has a reflection from their own recovery and would like to be featured as a guest blogger on my blog, please let me know. I would really like there to be a variety of experiences that others who are recovering from addiction can draw hope and strength from.
- The Effects of Alcohol (alcoholic.org)
- Jeggings – Guest Blogger! (posttraumaticdressdisorder.wordpress.com)