Reflection of a Recovering Guest Blogger, #1

I follow many blogs of others in recovery, whether it is from drugs, alcohol, eating disorders—overeating, under or not eating, and manipulative eating. There are other types of addiction as well, such as gambling, sex, shopping, to name a few. I have read some incredible posts and have often thought of asking some of my fellow recovery bloggers if I could feature one of their posts under my Recovery Detours.

My son, Jeremiah, recently took a writing class at Portland Community College and wrote a reflection of his own addiction/recovery for an assignment. He received an A on his paper. So, to break my own nervous ice, I have asked if he would mind if I posted his experience as my first “Reflection of a Recovering Guest Blogger,” though he is not currently a blogger. He eagerly agreed, sent me a copy, and I am now presenting his story to you. Jeremiah is my oldest of two sons and will be 20 years old on July 14th of this year. He is currently awaiting a call from Job Corps in Astoria, OR, where he is on the waiting list. I miss him immensely and am so very proud of him!

I used to shake the bed with my tremors; at the time I could not sleep until I got nauseous. Alcoholism is no joke. There are plenty of reasons to cut yourself off after one or two. Before I share my experience, let me start by saying an hour or two of feeling good is not worth the hangover, or possibly a lifetime of black outs and regrets for actions that sometimes you don’t even remember.

The pain of withdrawing is mind numbing. It is like a hangover, but ten times worse. My stomach felt rotted, shriveled up, and my insides felt destroyed. I would be so weak, I couldn’t move other than the shakes I had no control over. Keeping something in my stomach was a real task. Even water was difficult, but booze went down great. Stupid, right? Trying to fix the problem with the cause—that’s an alcoholic for you.

The emotional dependency of alcohol depends on the person. For me, it was worse than the physical pain. When you are going through tough times, booze paints a better picture for you. I believe that it enables you to deal with life’s problems in a sober state of mind. To take a few swigs and have your problems go away is tempting and addictive. Your problems are what you make of them, big or small, a crutch is never needed.

As you can tell, booze took control of me. I sold my belongings, have stolen from stores, and robbed people for their cash. Of course, I am ashamed, but it is another reason to not let booze take the wheel. It is a mental illness and should be treated as one. The fact is when you are craving, you tend to rationalize the things you do, no matter what it is.

Overall, avoid addiction. The pain and emotional dependency—it’s all bad. It is better to be in control. I am not against drinking; I just believe in moderation. If you can drink one or two with friends and walk away, there is no problem. But, if you can’t, be careful, because all it takes is one drop, and the next thing you know, you’re drowning.

~Jeremiah Messer

If anyone has a reflection from their own recovery and would like to be featured as a guest blogger on my blog, please let me know. I would really like there to be a variety of experiences that others who are recovering from addiction can draw hope and strength from.  

Advertisements

18 responses to “Reflection of a Recovering Guest Blogger, #1

  1. Pingback: Reflection of a Recovering Guest Blogger, #4, Part 3 | One Mind Many Detours

  2. Pingback: Reflection of a Recovering Guest Blogger, #4, Part 2 | One Mind Many Detours

  3. Pingback: Reflection of a Recovering Guest Blogger, #3 | One Mind Many Detours

  4. Pingback: Reflections of a Recovering Addict, #10 | One Mind Many Detours

  5. Pingback: Rockdweller goes Guest Blogger « Rockdweller's Blog

  6. Pingback: Reflection of a Recovering Guest Blogger, #2 | One Mind Many Detours

  7. What an excellent idea, to create the “Recovery Detours” chapter in your blog – it is a very good thing that you do!

    I read your son’s post and can certainly understand that you are very proud of him. So young, yet so insightful!

    He wrote his post with a frank simplicity and his words easily found their way to my heart and struck hard.

    I wish he leaves any shame behind where it belongs, together with the alcohol – in the past. Those are experiences that brought him here, to this point in life, where he’s doing so well. I hope he takes pride in himself and truly enjoys life.

    A big HUG for the both of you! Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful post, it truly warmed my heart *hugs*

    • Thank you so much for your kind words! He is learning and growing so much! As we all know, recovery is an onging process and everyone’s process is different. I am certian he will learn to let go of the shame when he is ready, but for now, I am just glad he is realizing all that addiction is, where it comes from, and how to do things differently. He is much smarter than he gives himself credit for, but slowly, he is beginning to see his potential and what it will take to reach it.

      I believe it was a post on your blog that gave me the idea to post guest blogger stories. If I remember right, you wrote that you were having a hard time or a bad day and that you had wanted to keep your blog posts positive and inspiring, but that bad days are a very real part of recovery. Does it ring a bell? If so, and you know which it is, OR if you have another post that you like better, I would very much like to feature it as my next guest blogger post. Would you be willling to let me?

      Thank you for the hug!!!

      -Cindy

      • My goodness, I’m speechless! How incredibly kind of you to ask, I’d be so very very proud to contribute with a post. Unfortunately my memorey fails me and I cannot remember the post you mentioned. I went through my blog and couldn’t find the post, but found another that might work – shall I e-mail you the link? If so, what’s your e-mail address?

        Thank you so much for your kindess and also for keeping this great blog for us all to read and enjoy!

    • Sometimes it takes really bad experiences to bring out the best in us. There is so much more to his story, but he got right to the point. What touched me when I first read it was that he did not make excuses, but was bluntly honest. Honesty is imperative in recovery. Without it, it is impossible to recover. Yes, I am very proud of him and love him more and more each time I see growth in him as a young man. I set an example and without preaching or judging or pushing him to do what I wanted him to do, I showed him by my actions and how my life was changing. That made all the difference in the world.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s