Please, Stand Up and Speak Up!

“Phys Ed and several other programs face elimination as Portland schools try to balance a $19 million shortfall.” “Cutting Phys Ed in Portland elementary and middle schools would save the district more than $6 million.” “School officials say they’ve got to cut somewhere to make ends meet.” (Mungeam) Is this the most ridiculous thing you have ever heard? Why is it that when educated, experienced, skilled adults can’t spend money effectively and stay within a budget, our schools, or rather, our kids, are the first to be attacked and punished? If these adults are incapable of being successful, then why would they want to cut back on the development of future leaders and potentially put our country, our state, our town at a bigger risk and in a deeper hole? I am not happy about this at all. Physical Education needs to remain a solid program and be unaffected and untouched within our school systems.

Why do we send our children to school? You may think this teeters on the edge of being a rhetorical question, but humor me. Of all of the reasons you could list, which one is your main reason and most common among parents? We send our children to school to get an education, yes? And the reason we want them educated is so that they can be capable of doing, being, and surviving in this world. We want them to be educated so they can grow up and have a home, a family, a bank account, and so they can pursue their dreams, reach their goals, and see their wishes come true.

A part of being successful in these things is being healthy and knowing how to stay healthy. Nearly everyone knows that the most essential factors of life are air, food, water, sleep, and exercise. These things are not only good for our physical health, but also to our mental health and intellectual growth. Our minds, and those of our children’s, need to be healthy, clear of obstacles, and ready to receive, perceive, process, and retain. Schools are already on this page, as classes start first thing in the morning, after our children have had a good night’s rest and breakfast, the most important meal of the day. Schools have even started serving breakfast to students who don’t normally eat breakfast at home, for whatever reason, and also serve lunch to refuel them for the afternoon.

Physical Education is when and where our children get some of their exercise during the day. This is important and don’t just take it from me, but listen to what was said by a 12-year-old, a mother, and a physician. “As a 12-year-old at Laurelhurst K-through-8 school, I and many other children think it is a horrible idea to cut or even shorten PE,” Michael Koukoumano said, “PE is very important because it helps kids exercise and be more active which keeps them from becoming obese.” (News) “We know that healthy kids learn better and we know physical activity helps the brain learn and we know when we take a look at kids scores in school that they are better when they’ve gotten some exercise, ” says parent Isabelle Barbour. (Harlan) “The data is clear. The science is clear,” said Dr. Minot Cleveland. “Kids that are more fit do better academically, they do better physically, so it doesn’t have to be an either or. We have to have both to work together.” (News)

Little Michael has a point. The growing number of children becoming obese is a concern and taking P.E. out of school will certainly not help things. As a matter of fact, Michael is not the only one to recognize this. “The Task Force for a Comprehensive Obesity Prevention Initiative recommends continuation of funding to the Oregon Department of Education to support physical education in schools.” (SB 931) “An alarming new study by the International Association for the Study of Obesity projected that nearly half of all the children in North and South America will be overweight by 2010.” (O’Crowley) And it is also pointed out that canceling Phys Ed from schools is responsible, to a good degree, for this problem. “There are many reasons for the epidemic of childhood obesity, including overeating and calorie-filled junk food. But much of it is due to a decline in activity, a decline that cannot be made up by organized games and practices,” said Sue Shapses, an associate professor of nutritional sciences at Rutgers University and co-director of the New Jersey Obesity Group. “Declines in physical education classes and daily recess are also to blame,” she said. (O’Crowley)

Physical Education is necessary for our kids for several reasons. When the weather is nice, or at least tolerable, P.E. is usually held outside, so in addition to exercise, our kids can get fresh air and sunshine, a source of vitamin D which is known to improve a person’s mood. The exercise stimulates their heart rate, circulates oxygen throughout their bodies, and flexes their muscles. There is more to Physical Education than getting to play and have some fun, though I must say those are very appealing qualities, but it is also a time for their eyes and their minds to rest. It is at P.E. that our children will learn how to play sports, follow the rules of the game, work as a team, and compete in a healthy, non-aggressive setting. A Phys Ed instructor, Sarah Spella said, “It’s not just the learning of the skills and building of the endurance and strength and the flexibility and the agility and the balance and all those base level things that kids get from PE, but it’s also the social interaction.” (Mungeam)

The evidence is clear. We are all, in one way or another, experts, speaking out against pulling the Physical Education programs out of our schools and risking the health and academic potential of our children. I am an expert in that I know from personal experience the effects that a lack of activity has on the mind and the body. Michael is an expert because he is one of the very kids this will affect. Mothers and fathers are experts because they see on a daily basis how well or how poorly their children’s appetites, sleeping patterns, motivation toward homework, and overall mood and attitude are when they are getting enough or lacking regular exercise and physical activity. And of course the Phys Ed teachers and doctors are experts in the knowledge they have of these effects.

The only question left now is what can be done to stop this from happening? If you have children, go to your schools and to their board meetings and speak up. Go to community meetings and press conferences and speak up. Write, call, or go in person to see the School Superintendent and speak up. Even if you don’t have children, remember that it is the next generation of leaders that we are concerned with here, and in time, this will affect you and your future in some way. So please, go and speak up. Cutting Physical Education will doing nothing to benefit our children, but will only serve to pad the pockets of politicians. It’s disgusting and it needs to be stopped!

Time for Reading

I have a confession to make. A short while back…ok, don’t let me fool you; it was on February 11th, I saw a post on Live to Write—Write to Live. This site has quite a few women authors and this particular post posed the following question:

QUESTION: It’s the biggest complaint I hear from writers. I don’t have time to read any books, they’ll say as they gaze at the novel in my hands. Okay, so fess up. Do you read on a daily basis? Do you find it important enough to schedule it into your day? (should you?)

Each of the authors then responded with how much they read and why and one of them said that in order to be a good writer, it is imperative that you spend at least 30 minutes a day reading. The more you read, the better you will write. Well, how could I argue with that? As a matter of fact, here is the comment I posted:

I do read more often than I even realize. Of course, I can get lost reading the blogs I follow, but I am also a Penn State University student studying psychology, so I spend at least 4 to 6 hours a day reading for my classes. I have hundreds of books on shelves, in bags, and stacked around my room just begging to be read. Unfortunately, I was not required in high school to read most the classics that are usually assigned reading. So, though I am now 40 years old, I figured it was about time to start. But I have so many, I do not know where to start. Willa Cather, Charlotte Bronte, Henry James, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Jonathan Swift, William Faulkner, Tennessee Williams, Thomas Hardy, John Steinbeck, H.G. Wells, John Keats, Carson McCullers, Rita Mae Brown…and those are just the ones right here on my desk. I like the idea of allowing myself 30 minutes a day to read for the pure pleasure of reading, and so, starting today, I will pick one of these amazing authors and begin. Thanks for the question and the suggestion! Happy Reading!

The first thing I will reveal is that when I went back to copy this response to include in this post and pasted it onto a Word document, I was mortified to see that I had five typing, yes, spelling, errors. No wonder none of them commented on what I had written! I did not realize how much I had come to rely on spell-check until I learned of the mistakes made in a situation where it is not utilized.  Because of this reliance, I did not go back and read over what I had written. That is a serious slacking of discipline on my part. No more. Not proof reading is foolish anyway and I will be sure to do it every time, all the time, from now on.

Unfortunately, that is not the confession. In my comment, I said I would start that night, but I didn’t. I got busy with this or that and was just too cross-eyed exhausted to even try. The next day, I had some other excuse, and the day after that and the one after that. By then I just figured I would get around to it when I got around to it.

Well, today is the day. It is presently 4:20 AM and I have read the first chapters in three different books; My Ántonia by Willa Cather, Beyond the Tears: A True Survivor’s Story by Lynn C. Tolson, and Rubyfruit Jungle by Rita Mae Brown. My original intention was to see which one I wanted to read first, but I should have known better. I am incapable of starting a book and not finishing it, which means I will be reading all three. I will keep one in the car for the long trips into Manhattan, one in the bathroom closet for when I soak in a bubble bath, and the third will be on my nightstand. If I have not read all day before it is time for bed, I will be sure to pick up the bedside one and read for at least the 30 minutes I had set out to do, and will do so on a daily basis.

Yes, I do a lot of reading for school, but I never reward myself by taking time to read for pure joy of reading. It has been a really long time since I have read anything for that purpose, and I have always used being in school as an excuse. How ridiculous is that? Thirty minutes is not a huge amount of time that I cannot set aside for myself. And why not? I love to read, have an extensive list of books I am most eager to read, and have about a third of the books on that list right here in my room.

Before I leave you, I want to ask—do you read on a daily basis and is reading important enough to schedule into your daily routine?

TAG!!! You’re IT!

This is a Fun Game and it’s called, “TAG You’re IT” and Dolly of allaboutlemon tagged me.

Here are The Rules:

  1. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post and then create eleven new questions to ask the people you’ve tagged or you can recycle the questions of others if you’d like to do so.
  2. Tag eleven people (or more if you wish) and link to them on your post.
  3. Let them know you’ve tagged them (but if you don’t get time, you won’t have to go to your room for three weeks or anything like that, lol!)

Dolly’s Questions:

1. Why do you blog?

Great question! For the answer, read my post, Blog, Blog, Blog!

2. Are you happy?

More than any other time in my life!

3. Do you feel you are loved?

I not only feel it, I know it!

4. What are your dreams?

To become a Psychologist and be able to care for my kids like I never have before!

5. Describe yourself in 6 words.

(I hate the number 6—don’t know why, I just do, so I will list 7) Reader, writer, mom, friend, lover, student, fighter!

6. What is your favorite animal? and why?

Cats—I love their purr and their cuddly companionship!

7. If you like to have a pet, what kind of animal would that be? and why?

A kitten, but if I had to choose a close second it would be a cockatoo—they are a joy to have, if they are hand fed, and you can take them anywhere you go!

When you read these following words, what comes up to your mind in an instant and why?

8. FOREST—Mysterious, because all forests are so vastly different.

9. SEA—Yuck! I hate salt water!

10. COFFEE—comfort and warmth, simply because that is what coffee is for me.

11. Are you happy with my questions and glad that I tagged you?

Great questions that even allowed me to plug my own post! I do like to play, especially the questions, so yes, I am glad you tagged me!

MY Questions for YOU:

      1. What is your favorite book and why?
      2. What is your favorite thing to write about?
      3. What do you look for in a blog?
      4. Have you had any formal training in writing, (i.e. writing classes, workshops, etc)?
      5. What is you most favorite memory?
      6. If you could visit one place in the entire world, where would it be?
      7. If you could learn how to do one thing, what would it be?
      8. Who is your favorite artist and why?
      9. Who is your favorite author and why?
      10. What is one thing about me that you would like to know?
      11. Have you ever had anything published?

WHO I am Tagging:

      1. Thypolar’s life
      2. Seasons Change, and Change…
      3. newfoundlandtraveller
      4. Mystery Coach
      5. Mortal Hearts with Immortal Souls
      6. Step On A Crack…Or Break Your Mother’s Back
      7. Girl on the Contrary
      8. Wonder and Whimsy
      9. I Can’t High Five
      10. Me, Myself, and I
      11. Pretty Fly for a Blind Guy

TAG! You’re IT! Enjoy and have fun!

Hometown…?

Being a student at Penn State University, one of the things most frequently asked in an introduction discussion board is to share your hometown. I know this may seem silly, but I truly have a hard time with this. What constitutes a person’s “hometown?” Here is why I ask.

I was born in Michigan, where I lived only four years of my life. I remember almost nothing from that time period. When I was four and my sister had just turned one, we moved to Florida, where I was raised. I spent the remainder of my childhood there in that southern state and shortly after I reached my 18th birthday, I moved to Oregon once I had graduated high school. I lived there for 22 years. That is currently equivalent to over half of my lifetime. Both of my boys were born in Oregon. Now, for a little less than a year, I have been living in Pennsylvania, and I feel more at home here than I can remember elsewhere.

So, is my hometown where I was born? Is it where I was raised and graduated high school? Is it where I spent over half of my life and raised my own children? Or is the place I now call home? Do you see my dilemma? My guess is that Florida, the state in which I was raised, shared a “home” with my parents (until I was 10, and then it was only my mother) and my sister, and is where all of my “when I was growing up” memories and stories come from, would probably be the best choice when asked where my hometown is. But, then again, I really don’t know. Would anyone like to shed some light on this silly little concept for me? It will make posting my introduction to new classes so much easier!

Life Is

Reading and writing

Feeling and sharing

Learning and growing

Sympathy, empathy, and disapproval

Rejoicing, grieving, reaching, relating

Falling down and getting up

Tenacity and determination

Doubting, questioning, challenging,

Taking a stand and standing up for others

Beliefs, morals, values, and virtues

Conquering, overcoming, and rising above

Never giving up

and

Succeeding yet again, in spite of negativity

Versatile Awards #2 AND #3

As one of my lovely fans has already pointed out, I do love and use quite frequently, dictionary.com. I have decided to share a little trivia to give this post a little something extra. The following is the origin of the word “Versatile.”

Versatile: 1605, from L. versatilis “turning, revolving, moving, capable of turning to varied subjects or tasks,” from pp.[prepositional phrase] stem of versare “keep turning, be engaged in something, turn over in the mind,” frequentative of vertere “to turn” (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/versatile)

Ah! Now that is better. With this, you will better understand why Troy and Jen have chosen me as one of their nominees (oh, my! I am usually not this humble. Honest!)

I am getting ahead of myself. Just keep reading.

I have been nominated not once, but twice, for the Versatile Blogger Award by two bloggers whom I follow and who follow me. One nomination came from someone I have been following for quite some time and who I have a lot of respect for; Troy of life.aisle. Please do check out his blog! He is very inspiring, informative, and if you take the time to read things he has written, you will learn things you never would have expected.

The second nomination came from a blog I have only just recently started to follow, but after reading just a few of her posts, I discovered that, she too, writes and shares things that are inspiring and informative. She, a child of an alcoholic; me, an addict mother of my children. Fortunately, I have entered recovery, been here for a few years, and as a result, I get to do some amazing things, like go to college, write a blog, a—you guessed it! I also get to read the blogs of others, such as Step On A Crack…Or Break Your Mother’s Back, written by Jen, and learn so much more about myself and others who struggle with this life-ruining disease! Some truly fascinating reading, I assure you!

Thank you life.aisle and Step On A Crack…Or Break Your Mother’s Back for nominating me for this really cool award! It is deeply appreciated, not to mention motivating. You like what you see, so I just will continue posting to ensure you keep coming back!

The customary rules are:

    1. Thank the person who nominated you for the award and share a link to their blog.
    2. List 7 things about yourself.
    3. Select 15 bloggers or sites that you regularly follow or find interesting and nominate them for the versatile blogger award.
    4. Tell the 15 bloggers that you have nominated them.

Seven things about me are:

    1. I drink way too much coffee and know this because, other than the obvious (I drink an average of two pots a day), the other day when we were out of coffee, I had the hardest time focusing on my homework. Not good. Not good at all!
    2. I love music and want very badly to learn how to play the piano and/or the violin. I live with two women, one of which has been a professional musician for 30 years, has more instruments than I have ever seen in one location, is willing, and even eager to teach me, but…alas, I just do not have the time.
    3. I have absolutely no confidence in my writing abilities, so I avoid doing it at all costs (both for school and for pleasure) until I get the first sentence typed and then it takes cheesecake, sheer exhaustion, or an army of 10 strong and sexy women to pull me away (as you will see when I post my next subculture assignment—7,000 words, and with revisions, very likely even longer.
    4. One of my most favorite things to do is to lie out in the sun near the pool and so this winter, though so much milder than most for this area, is driving me batty!
    5. My boys are in Washington and are doing well and I am in Pennsylvania, and am also doing well, but man, oh, man, do I miss my babies! (Ok, so they are 19 and 14 years old, but if you are a mother, you will know what I mean when I say, they will ALWAYS be my babies!)
    6. I love bubble baths! As a matter of fact, I am seriously considering indulging in one as soon as I get this posted.
    7. I desperately need a job, as these financial aid loans are just not cutting it. Donations to my living expenses are welcomed and appreciated.

My 15 nominations are:

          1. Reflections…By Kathy
          2. News of My Bipolar Brain
          3. Mortal Hearts with Immortal Souls
          4. bipolarmuse
          5. Written Words Never Die
          6. Subhan Zein
          7. FiftyFourandAHalf
          8. Dreamwalker’s Sanctuary
          9. Freedom to a Full Life
          10. Maggiemaeijustsaythis
          11. strawberriesandoranges
          12. >The Great Escape<Life from behind a lens
          13. Haphazard Linkages
          14. Shannon Howell
          15. Foodimentary

These are some truly amazing blogs! I really mean that. I have taken my time and really chose blogs that I thought all of you could really gain from. So, please, honor all of my work and check out each and every one of these blogs. You will not be disappointed!

February 15, 2012

February 15, 2012 was my 41st birthday. I was unable to celebrate it on that day because I had an enormous amount or homework due that evening. However, I received some truly remarkable surprises from the most unexpected places. The first came to me as an email for Penn State University. At the end of last semester, I had noted, based on my overall GPA of 3.75, that I would be named on the Dean’s List—and then I had forgotten all about it. Until this email:

Cindy,

It is with absolute pleasure that we congratulate you for being named to the Fall 2011 Dean’s List for Penn State’s College of the Liberal Arts! We know the sacrifices you and those close to you have endured to attain such an exceptional accomplishment.

This important achievement reflects your hard work, dedication, and motivation to succeed at Penn State, and you should have the utmost pride for all of your hard work. The rigor of online course work requires self-motivation and commitment while juggling other life events, which is not an easy feat. We share your pride in you earning this honor and encourage you to keep up the exceptional work!

Again, we extend our congratulations for being named to the Dean’s List and look forward to working with you as you continue to pursue your academic goals.

With best wishes always,

Academic Advising

Penn State World Campus

Now, I realize that for those who have been to college and those currently attending college who regularly receive this kind of notice, this may not be all that impressive. I, too, have received this email many, many times during the four years I spent at Portland Community College. To be more accurate, I received these notifications for 15 out of 17 terms. So, why is this one so special and notable? There are actually several reasons. One is that I did not start my education with the intention of earning anything beyond an Associate Degree (which I have earned two of), and I certainly did not expect to be accepted to this particular University, so having made the Dean’s List in my first semester, to me, and for me, is a great accomplishment.

The second, and more important reason, is that I do not look at this as how well I did or how smart I am, but rather a sense that I am more strongly and better prepared to achieve my ultimate goal. Graduating college is only one step of goal. From there, I intend to do a lot of research in regards to the LGBT community, focusing more on the internal aspects (self-acceptance, dealing with rejection/bullying) rather than the external aspects (rights of the community as a whole). I will also work on acquiring “hands-on” experience in a therapeutic setting. During this phase is where my true goal begins—helping others find self-worth, self-love, self-confidence, and to draw upon a deeper level of untapped inner strength. My dream is to open my own private practice. Accomplishing the level of achievement worthy of the Dean’s List, says to me, “Education is the foundation and yours is taking form with solidity and stability.” And that, my friends, is why this email is very notable.

Another surprise came to me in the mail in the form of a personal letter. I received this letter on the 15th, just a few short hours after receiving the email. My point is that this letter was mailed two days before I, myself, had been officially notified of this achievement. I have no idea how common something like this is or is not, but it means a great deal to me. So mush so , that now I want to share it with you:

Dear Cindy:

Congratulations! Earning a place on the Dean’s List is indeed a substantial achievement and you undoubtedly worked very hard in the fall semester of 2011. you and your family have every reason to be proud.

I wish you continued success in your scholastic endeavors at Pennsylvania Sate University and look forward to noting your future achievements.

If there is ever anyway I can be of assistance to you on state related matters, please do not hesitate to call me at my district office.

Very truly yours,

 

 

Mario Scavello

State Representative

176th Legislative District

I do not think this needs further elaboration as it clearly speaks for itself.

I was more than motivated to work hard on my studies and to complete my required assignments that day. The following day, my roommates prepared a wonderful broccoli-cheddar soup from scratch, made homemade biscuits, and baked my favorite cake for me—carrot cake with cream cheese frosting! So delicious and well worth the wait!

A Sunshine Award is Warming My Heart

I have graciously been awarded the Sunshine Award by Pauline from newfoundlandtraveller ! Pauline is a very accomplished woman, having quite a few degrees in teaching and education, is a published author, and loves to travel. Her blog is both thought-provoking and informative and a real joy to read. I love sunshine, so this is definitely the award for me! Thank you very much for honoring me with this very bright and warm award!

The Sunshine Award, like all other rewards, has some rules:

  • Include the award’s logo in a post or on your blog
  • Answer 10 questions about yourself
  • Nominate 10-12 other fabulous bloggers
  • Link your nominees to the post and comment on their blogs, letting them know they have been nominated
  • Share the love and link the person who nominated you.

TEN QUESTIONS

  1. Favorite color: Pale Yellow
  2. Favorite animal: Cats
  3. Favorite number: 11
  4. Favorite non-alcoholic drink: Coffee, creamed and sugared, hands down! By the way, I don’t drink alcohol, so this is my favorite drink overall!
  5. Prefer Facebook or Twitter? I have both, however I have two FB, one is primarily for my recovery friends from around the world and I have over 2300 friends on that page, and the second for my nearest and dearest girlfriends from early childhood to the most recent friendships I have formed. This page only has 59 friends, as I am very selective and 40 of those are on both of my pages. I do have a Twitter account as well, however, it is hard for me to keep up. I do the best I can.
  6. My passion: It’s a tie! Psychology and Writing.
  7. Prefer getting or giving presents: Giving! I am not a material person, so receiving gifts is nice, but the emotions felt with giving presents far outweighs my excitement at receiving them.
  8. Favorite pattern: Log Cabin (This is a quilt pattern)
  9. Favorite day of the week: Thursday
  10. Favorite flower: Daisy, though since that is considered a weed, I will go with carnation. They smell nice and last a long time after being cut.

PASSING IT ON:

This is the fun part. For me, the Sunshine Award represents an award given to blogs that bring sunshine and smiles into the reader’s and viewer’s day. So, without further ado, here are the blogs that do that for me:

rumpydog—talk about sunshine being brought into your day! This blog is brought to you from the perspective of a variety of dogs and cats. This blog is informative, funny, engaging, and just leaves you feeling warm and fuzzy all over!

Our Little Home—About a couple of lesbians in love and their personal journey. I absolutely LOVE this blog and it is well worth the time to go check it out!

Susie Lindau’s Wild Ride—the name says it all! This blog is indeed like a wild ride, but one that is a lot of fun. There is a mixture of fiction and reality on this blog, and not one post will you be disappointed to read. This is one of those blogs you can get lost on for hours. Awesome stuff!

allaboutlemon—this blog has it all! Games, contests, photography, videos, and written posts! If you want to have fun, be intrigued, test your sense of adventure, or just make a genuine friend, this is the place to go!

Kitty bloger—who doesn’t like adorable kittens and their many adventures and silliness? A must see!

Vinyl Eraser—one of the most recent of the blogs I now follow, this is the blog of an experimental, self-taught artist, but as you will see for yourself, this artist has true talent! Don’t take my word for it—go take a peek!

Maze A Day—do you like a challenge? Interested in a trickery of the mind and a test of your mental abilities? Try getting through just one of these unique, one-of-kind mazes. If you can’t get through one, don’t worry; there is always tomorrows maze. Go ahead, give it a try—I dare you!

Bluebird Blvd.—fascinating is an understatement! Poetry, photography, humor, art, and some information about a lot of different things that would be a shame if you missed. Hurry on over—it’s not too late!

Noisy Pilgrim—some of THE MOST AMAZING Photography I have ever seen. Positively mind-blowing!

Mindset: Perspective Is Everything—if you have a passion for psychology, as I do, this blog is like a free online class. Some very interesting and insightful lessons to be learned for Dr. Richard Schultz!

These really are some truly amazing blogs. Please go visit each one, and don’t forget to check out Pauline at newfoundlandtraveller!

Just Me, #6

Good Evening Bloggers, Followers, Visitors, and Those of the Curious Type,

It is just me, keeping in touch with all of you, and giving a quick update, as that is all I have time for this evening. I am once again, obligated to my studies, and it is looking like I will not have time to write a proper post, as I would so very much like to do. That is ok, have no fear, there is always tomorrow. Now on a more serious note, here is what is going on with me and what you may and may not expect in the coming days and weeks.

First and foremost, I need to update my blogroll, so that it depicts those blogs that I find myself on the most and truly believe will be greatly enjoyed by anyone else who ventures to view something new. It is looking rather puny and needs my attention. In addition to that, I have been awarded the Sunshine Award, (oops! I probably shouldn’t have let the cat out of the old knapsack until I have prepared my official post, but it is on my list of blog priorities). From there, I intend to write another Reflection, a story about the wonderful women I live with (or are they Angels?) and I still need to write one about my beloved, albeit deceased, kitten, Manhattan. I have a little something special to share with you, so be on the lookout for a post entitled, February 15, 2012, and another in which I will need feedback on in regards to hometowns.

I have many posts I want to write, but little time. The most important, however, is one that will have to wait. If you have not already, please read my story, My Little Boy. This is about my youngest son. I owe a similar story to my oldest son, but I want to give as much of myself, my time, my effort, and my dearest memories as I gave his brother. This cannot be quickly pecked out and so, it will have to wait until the end of April when the semester is over and I will have a couple of weeks to work on it.

Thank you, one and all, for stopping by and spending a little time. I enjoy writing more than anything, but it makes me very happy that on occasion, my writing can bring a smile to someone’s face, or get them to scratch their head and ponder awhile. I cannot wait to see all the new and wonderful pictures, poems, and other posts that you have posted and that awaits my company.

Au revoir mes chers amis!

-Cindy

Liebster Blog Award, Numero Dos

I have been nominated by Lost Up Above for my second Liebster Blog Award. Thank you, Stephanie, for passing this award on to me. I truly enjoy the many authors and variety of music that you post on your blog, and I find myself learning all kinds of things I might not have otherwise learned. Thank you so much for both the award and for your inspirational blog!

Liebster is German & means ‘dearest’ or ‘beloved’ but it can also mean ‘favorite’ and the idea of the Liebster award is to bring attention to blogs with less than 200 followers all in the spirit of gathering more connections.

Here are the rules, though they are painless, really.

  1. Show your thanks to the blogger who gave you the award by linking back to them.
  2. Reveal your top picks for the award and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.
  3. Post the award on your blog.
  4. Bask in the love from the most supportive people on the blogosphere – other bloggers.
  5. And, best of all – have fun and spread the karma.

I would like to pass this award to:

The Daily Stresser

I Am Not Defined

Kellie See

amdunnewin

life.aisle

These blogs are ones that should most certainly not be missed. Check them out! It won’t take you long, unless, of course, like me, you get caught up in reading and viewing, which would actually turn out to be a good thing. Please feel free to thank me here for leading you there! Happy reading!

 

My First Liebster Blog Award

I have been nominated by Celeste, Mortal Hearts with Immortal Souls, for the Liebster Blog Award. Wow, Celeste, you never cease to amaze me. Your blog is inspiring and insightful and that you have chosen to pass this award on to me is truly an honor, coming from you! Thank you so very much!

Liebster is German & means ‘dearest’ or ‘beloved’ but it can also mean ‘favorite’ & the idea of the Liebster award is to bring attention to blogs with less than 200 followers all in the spirit of gathering more connections

  1. Show your thanks to the blogger who gave you the award by linking back to them.
  2. Reveal your top picks for the award and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.
  3. Post the award on your blog.
  4. Bask in the love from the most supportive people on the blogosphere – other bloggers.
  5. And, best of all – have fun and spread the karma.

I would like to pass this award to:

A Kiss of Bliss

Word Flows

Writer’s Manifest

newfoundlandtraveller

A Natural Sort of Lovely

 These are some of the best of the best blogs that I follow. Please give them a visit! Also, I would really love it if when you do, you let me know which of these you end up following.

 

 

Reflections of a Recovering Addict, #8

bayridgetalk.com

  I found this on one of the recovery pages on Facebook that a fellow recovering addict posted. The author is unknown, but it is really a fun read and carries a pretty good message. As I read through it, I kept thinking it sounded a lot like a conversation my former sponsor had with me very early in my recovery. Though this is done cleverly as a technical upgrade, the concept is still very much the same. I also felt this was worthy of a reflection post rather than just a random post. It depicts, for those who are not addicts and know little about recovery, one of the many transformations that occur as a result of doing the work. It reflects the self-esteem and emotional growth that we gain in recovery that is beyond the mere abstinence of drug use.That being said, it can also be a useful guide for anyone who is struggling emotionally. As you read through this, you will see that it is not specifically geared toward the broken addict, but to any human who suffers with a lot of negativity and very low self-esteem. It is not as simple as installing software on your computer, because it does take human effort, but it is not as complicated as computer programs generally are. Just like anything else that goes with the territory of change, it is a process, not a magic trick. Give it a read, then give it a try, and then pass it on.

Customer: I really need some help. After much consideration, I’ve decided to install LOVE. Can you guide me through the process?

Tech Support: Yes, I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I’m not very technical, but I think I’m ready to install it now. What do I do?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your HEART?

Customer: Yes, I have, but there are several other programs running right now. Is it okay to install while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running?

Customer: Let’s see… I have PAST-HURT.EXE, LOW-ESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.EXE running now.

Tech Support: No problem. LOVE will gradually erase PAST-HURT.EXE from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually overwrite LOW-ESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called HIGH-ESTEEM.EXE. However, you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.EXE. Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed. Can you turn those off?

Customer: I don’t know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary until it’s erased the programs you don’t want.

Customer: Okay, now LOVE has started installing itself automatically. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes. You should receive a message that says it will stay installed for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message?

Customer: Yes, I do. Is it completely installed?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other HEARTs in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops. I have an error message already. What should I do?

Tech Support: What does the message say?

Customer: It says, “ERROR 412-PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS.” What does that mean?

Tech Support: Don’t worry, that’s a common problem. It means that the LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTs but has not yet been run on your HEART. It is one of those complicated programming things, but in non-technical terms it means you have to “LOVE” your own machine before it can “LOVE” others.

Customer: So what should I do?

Tech Support: Can you pull down the directory called “SELF-ACCEPTANCE”?

Customer: Yes, I have it.

Tech Support: Excellent. You’re getting good at this. Now, click on the following files and then copy them to the “MYHEART” directory: FORGIVE-SELF.DOC, REALIZE-WORTH.TXT, and ACKNOWLEDGE-LIMITATIONS.DOC. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching any faulty programming. Also, you need to delete SELF-CRITICISM.EXE from all directories, and then empty your recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with new files. SMILE.MP3 is playing on my monitor right now and it shows that PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.EXE are copying themselves all over my HEART. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes a while, but eventually everything gets downloaded at the proper time. So, LOVE is installed and running. You should be able to handle it from here. Ah, one more thing.

Customer: Yes?

Tech Support: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everybody you meet. They will in turn share it with other people and they will return some similarly cool modules back to you.

Customer: I will! Thanks for your help!

~Author Unknown

Reflections of a Recovering Addict, #7

Recovery is truly a beautiful process. There is a lot involved in recovering from drugs and alcohol. It is not just the abstinence from the mind altering, body destructing, life ruining, family alienating, job losing, home wrecking demon we ingest in the form of pills, powders, liquids, and gasses. It is about change, growth, and being comfortable with who we are, as we are. In recovery, we say that in order to remain abstinent and continue to heal, we must change our playmates, play things, and play grounds. In other words, we find others in recovery and form new friendships, we find new activities to do with our time that are legal, healthy, and acceptable to ourselves and others, and we spend our time in meetings, having coffee with our new friends, attending pot lucks, and repairing our homes and families. Some of us go to church, mass, synagogues, sweat lodges, and the like.

We are told many things when we enter a room of recovery. These are called suggestions, as they are not requirements, but rather the things that have been tried and worked in aiding other addicts to a successful path of recovery. We are told that the lot of us are there to support and guide you, not make demands of you or threaten to through you out if you do not do it our way. As a matter of fact, we learn that each and every individual’s process, or program, is their own and it is not always the same as the next guy. It is not a race. There is no finish line and graduation comes only when we pass from this life to the next, still clean and sober. There is no cure for addiction, only the treatment of recovery and it is a life long journey. All the suggestions are essential and if followed, we will and do recover.

Some of the more common suggestions are to attend 90 meetings in 90 days, obtain phone numbers from other members and to practice calling, so when you struggle to stay clean and sober, you are able to call for help, get a sponsor who acts as a mentor, and start working on the 12 steps that the program has been built on. We are told that it is not an “I” program, but a “WE” program; you cannot do it alone, but together we can! When we come into the rooms, most of us are spiritually broken and emotionally bankrupt. We are bound by shame and guilt and self-loathing, so the suggestion of giving yourself a break is a wise one. We did not become addicted in one day, so we cannot expect to recover overnight. It takes time. It takes a desire. It takes an effort. And it takes learning and practicing the principles that are foreign to us.

Throughout this process, and usually in the second and third steps, we need to determine for ourselves and accept a Higher Power. This is one of my favorite things about the 12 step programs of recovery. We decide, individually, who our Higher Power is. “…a God of our understanding.” Now, God, in this statement, does not necessarily refer to the Christian God, unless, of course, you want it to. The beauty is, it can be religious or it could be non-religious. Your Higher Power could be God, Buddha, Dalai Lama, the Creator, or some undefined spirit. On the other hand, so many of us either flat-out do not believe in a God or the like or we are just so destroyed that we are unable to believe. For some of us, we need to think long and hard about what we do or do not, or could or could not believe before we know who or what our Higher Power is. Some believe that the Universe serves well as their Higher Power. Others look to Angels, or their own personal Guardian Angel, to guide and protect them. And it is not at all uncommon for others to view the group, other recovering addicts who comprise the meetings, to be their Higher Power. No matter who we acknowledge as our Higher Power, we do need to come to believe that someone or something is bigger, stronger, and more in control than we ourselves, by ourselves, are.

I will break it down even more. Let us take a look at the definitions of higher and power individually. Though they each have many meanings, the ones that are mathematical, statistical, political, and such are not what is meant by Higher Power as we are taught is recovery. What the words do mean in that regard are as follows:

Higher—having a great or considerable extent or reach upward or vertically; exceeding the common degree or measure; strong; intense; exalted in rank, station, eminence, etc.; of exalted character or quality

Power—ability to do or act; capability of doing or accomplishing something; the possession of control or command over others; authority; ascendancy; a person or thing that possesses or exercises authority or influence; to inspire; spur; sustain

Now, you can piece these definitions in any way you like that is conducive to your idea of what or who you want your Higher Power to be. One thing that is often suggested is to think of what you think a Higher Power should be, if there was one that you could accept and rely on. For example, my Higher Power is tolerant and forgiving, caring and nurturing, and never gives up on me. My Higher Power listens to me and loves me and accepts me as I am. My Higher Power is always with me and knows much more about me than I will ever know myself. My Higher Power supports me and protects me. What my Higher Power looks like or what I call my Higher Power are irrelevant. My Higher Power has my best interests and well-being as a top priority and I can truly depend on my Higher Power in all situations.

In meetings, you may hear others suggest using a door knob as a temporary Higher Power until you come to accept someone or something different. In one sense, it is an exaggeration to make a point that your choice of Higher Power can never be wrong. It is also metaphorical in that a door knob will open the door to a new life, a new beginning, new opportunities, to a meeting, etc. When you complete the first step, the admitting that you are powerless, you essentially, to some degree, acknowledge that something else has the control, and you are on your way to not allowing the drug or alcohol to have that control, but something else that will lead you to a better way of living.

The beauty of this concept is that, had this program been built up around God, or what is thought to be the Christian God, many would run at the mere mention of the word. If it is not because we do not believe in this particular God, it is because we do not want to be sucked into a religious cult or feel as if we are going to church rather than a support group. In a lot of cases, it is not uncommon for us to come into a room of recovery filled with anger towards God. Until we can take responsibility for our actions, we often blame others and “God” is not immune to being blamed. Some of us just cannot fathom that any God could forgive us or would want to help us and therefore end up feeling doomed right from the beginning. I personally believe that the teaching, tolerance, acceptance, and encouragement of any form of Higher Power is one of the most crucial in new comers’ sticking around and coming back. I love it!

What Drives Me

I know I should not write this until I pull myself together, however, I do not want to wait to bring this to as many people as possible and raise awareness. I am saddened, no, devastated after reading this article. I follow LGBTQNATION very closely on Facebook, and as a matter of fact, it can be found under my LGBT Blogroll, and when I logged into Facebook today, this is what I found:

http://www.lgbtqnation.com/2012/02/student-jumps-to-his-death-school-officials-say-bullying-wasnt-a-factor-bullshit/

This kind of needless tragedy breaks my heart, upsets me to my core, and is what drives me to work hard and go above and beyond my very best in my studies. Stopping this kind of thing and finding ways not only to reach these young teens and adults, but to provide them safe and dependable support, is my life’s goal. If ever there is a question of what I am studying, what my intentions and goals are, and/or why, read this article and I promise you, you will understand the certainty of my existence on this earth. May God be with this beautiful child’s family, friends, and classmates, and may the bullies that caused it, at the very least—Learn Something! The letter written by Drew’s classmate and friend is very touching and sends a strong message!

I have never asked before, but I am asking you now, please, please reblog this, post it on your Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Digg, or any and all other sites that you may have available to you. Thank you…

 

 

 

 

Gatherings and Behavior

Summit Lanes on Wednesday nights, the busiest league night of the week, is abuzz with all manner of conversation. The sound can be deafening as each voice rises above the next trying to be heard over the children running to and fro, some screaming, some laughing, while others cling to a parent’s leg crying, the loud booms of heavy bowling balls hitting hard wooden lanes, pins crashing and whining as they bump one into another, the chirps, beeps, and creepy musical responses from the various quarter hungry electronic games in the arcade, and even the swish of the wind fighting its way into the doors to claim its share of space as the patrons come in and go out. One the other hand, because of the many sound waves twirling around, weaving a rapid pattern through the atmosphere to avoid being snuffed out by the other threaded waves that zip by, the individual voices are also muffled and it is hard to make out what any one person is saying, unless you are close enough to climb up into their lap and introduce your ear to their lips, delivering the exercising of tongue and vocal cords. Every vibration of this symphony of sound can be felt from one end of this massive alley to the next. It comes from above, below, the left, and the right, and if you could catch these waves with light, it would be one of the most spectacular light shows ever produced.

People of all shapes, sizes, colors, ages, and manner of dress come filing into the building. At about 6:15, just a few mosey in slowly, in no hurry, go directly to the lanes their league has been assigned, set down their bags and proceed to remove coats and shoes from their backs and feet, and shiny, bright colored balls from their leather or vinyl enclosure, and placing these items in their proper, albeit temporary home. Coats are either tossed onto an empty, plastic seat or hung neatly on the back of it, shoes either placed in the bowling bag or slid under a table or chair, ball on the metal shelf attached to the ball return that sits at the head of the approach nestled between two lanes. Next they sit down and put on bowling shoes, and some, the hand brace that is essential to their throw and aim toward the ten pins at the end of the lane, neatly set, coming together in the shape of a triangle  and specifically and mechanically spaced by a machine that is behind the scenes. All the while, they look around. Are they nervous? Suspicious? Trying to remember something that they know in their gut they forgot? No.They are looking to see who is there and who is coming in. They are looking for familiar staff and the remainder of their teammates.

When the clock hits half past six, bigger clusters of people come flocking through glass doors, all moving at a slightly faster pace, with childish looks of excitement distorting their features as they see, and almost run to, their team members, friends, and in some cases neighbors. Though these leaguers do take their competition seriously, it is not a serious setting. They come in, shake hands, give hardy slaps on the back, or, as is the case mostly with the women, hug. The leaguers have an attitude of confidence and carry themselves with heads held high and chests puffed out, and in some cases there is a little bounce in their step. They feel comfortable here, as if they have just arrived at cousin George’s house for Thanksgiving, rather than a place of rivalry.

There is no dress code, which is very strange to me. I have seen in the few times I have ventured into other bowling alleys across time and space, but also on numerous television shows where bowling is a central theme, either to the show or to a specific episode, those on a regular bowling league have team shirts. They all match, sometimes embossed with a team name and almost always adorned with the individual’s name or nickname. It is also the garment in which an assortment of patches that are won or achieved in their bowling adventures are sewn and worn with pride. That appeared to be part of the fun. It is disturbing to me that these team shirts, which I had come to believe to be a very important aspect of this particular group of people is missing in action. Note to self—start asking questions.

By a quarter to seven, the relaxed visiting has turned to more of a “…keep talking, I’m listening,” kind of frenzy as they rush around readying themselves to begin their practice throws. More and more people are coming through the doors in larger groups the one before, and I sit and just marvel at the cyclical pattern that is emerging right before my eyes. Those who came in first make quick trips to the bathroom, the grill and/or the bar. I say and/or because it seems that those without children return with pitchers or bottles of beer, while those with children also retrieve their orders of steaming French fries and bags of popcorn dripping with butter. The ones who came in a little while after are just finishing up storing their belongings under tables or seats and organizing the placement of their hand towel, powder pouch, and lucky charms. In just moments, it will be their turn to do the last minute this and that before the games begin.

The last group who came in are really funny to watch because they are in the biggest hurry. Walking quickly down the carpeted area trying to get to their lanes then stopping abruptly as someone hollers their name or reaches a hand out to be shaken. I can read the anxiety in their movement as their bodies appear to hold the stance of still being in motion, they are quick with their hello, force a smile, and then begin moving again, saying over their shoulder, “Catch you after…” When they finally reach their lane, the begin the task of changing shoes, while the group before them are returning with their beverages and snacks. The first group is, by now, finished practicing and waiting for the score boards to highlight the first bowler’s name on the list, indicating that the practice frame is over and it is time to start.

At exactly 7 PM, everyone is in place. The children are in the arcade or sitting at the tables in the carpeted area, just behind their parents’ lanes munching happily on the junk food from the grill. First bowlers up are standing on the approach, bowling ball in hand, feet placed precisely on the arrow that coincides with their aim, while the other members of each team either sit on the plastic chairs bolted to the floor in the scoring area or stand to watch attentively. Not a single lane is empty or alone. The children are still chatting and giggling, though not as loudly as their previous squeals and the arcade games are still singing their eerie chimes of approval or sassy teasing to those who missed the mark. Those not on the approach are still talking to each other, but most are staring in anticipation at the lanes or the score boards. The wild concert of activity has changed stations and soft rock music can now be heard coming from the many speakers hanging from the ceiling, sitting on top of partial walls or the lockers. The games have begun and a new tune can be heard as bowling balls hit the lanes in a syncopated rhythm. If only I could write music, I would have a hit in the making.

DSM-V: Going Backwards and Losing Ground

Please forgive me first and foremost. This article, New mental health manual is dangerous say experts | Reuters, was originally posted on the blog, Secularity. I reblogged it, but then I got this pop-up window and weird messages were going across my screen that made me very nervous and uncomfortable, so I immediately deleted the post and am going this route instead. It is imperative that you know that this is reblogged though not in the traditional way.

You can click on the link listed above, or just read the article here, as I have copy and pasted into to quote box for you to read. I have not posted any news type of information on my blog to date, and if I ever do again, it will be a most rare incident. However, after reading this article, I feel it demands attention, as like it says in the title, this will be very dangerous indeed! To find out why, read the article, and you will understand the title of this post. Also, there are many related articles listed at the end for further information. This is truly a travesty!

New mental health manual is “dangerous” say experts

By Kate Kelland, Health and Science Correspondent

LONDON | Thu Feb 9, 2012 2:24pm EST

LONDON (Reuters) – Millions of healthy people – including shy or defiant children, grieving relatives and people with fetishes – may be wrongly labeled mentally ill by a new international diagnostic manual, specialists said on Thursday.

In a damning analysis of an upcoming revision of the influential Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), psychologists, psychiatrists and other experts said new categories of mental illness identified in the book were at best “silly” and at worst “worrying and dangerous.”

“Many people who are shy, bereaved, eccentric, or have unconventional romantic lives will suddenly find themselves labeled as mentally ill,” said Peter Kinderman, head of Liverpool University’s Institute of Psychology at a briefing in London about widespread concerns over the manual.

“It’s not humane, it’s not scientific, and it won’t help decide what help a person needs.”

The DSM is published by the American Psychiatric Association (APA) and has symptoms and other criteria for diagnosing mental disorders. It is used internationally and seen as the diagnostic “bible” for mental health medicine.

No one from the APA was immediately available for comment.

More than 11,000 health professionals have already signed a petition (at dsm5-reform.com) calling for the development of the fifth edition of the manual to be halted and re-thought.

Some diagnoses – for conditions like “oppositional defiant disorder” and “apathy syndrome” – risk devaluing the seriousness of mental illness and medical zing behaviors most people would consider normal or just mildly eccentric, the experts said.

At the other end of the spectrum, the new DSM, due out next year, could give medical diagnoses for serial rapists and sex abusers – under labels like “paraphilic coercive disorder” – and may allow offenders to escape prison by providing what could be seen as an excuse for their behavior, they added.

RADICAL, RECKLESS, AND INHUMANE

Simon Wessely of the Institute of Psychiatry at King’s College London said a look back at history should make health experts ask themselves: “Do we need all these labels?”

He said the 1840 Census of the United States included just one category for mental disorder, but by 1917 the APA was already recognizing 59. That rose to 128 in 1959, to 227 in 1980, and again to around 350 disorders in the fastest revisions of DSM in 1994 and 2000.

Allen Frances of Duke University and chair of the committee that oversaw the previous DSM revision, said DSM-5 would “radically and recklessly expand the boundaries of psychiatry” and result in the “lexicalization of normality, individual difference, and criminality.”

David Pilgrim of Britain’s University of Central Lancashire said it was “hard to avoid the conclusion that DSM-5 will help the interests of the drug companies.”

“Madness and misery exist but they come in many shapes and sizes,” he said. “We risk treating the experience and conduct of people as if they are botanical specimens waiting to be identified and categorized in rigid boxes.

“That would itself be a form of collective madness for all those complicit in the continuing pseudo-scientific exercise.”

Nick Craddock of Cardiff University’s department of psychological medicine and neurology, who also spoke at the London briefing, cited depression as a key example of where DSM’s broad categories were going wrong.

Whereas in previous editions, a person who had recently lost a loved one and was suffering low moods would be seen as experiencing a normal human reaction to bereavement, the new DSM criteria would ignore the death, look only at the symptoms, and class the person as having a depressive illness.

Other examples of diagnoses cited by experts as problematic included “gambling disorder,” “internet addiction disorder” and “oppositional defiant disorder” – a condition in which a child “actively refuses to comply with majority’s requests” and “performs deliberate actions to annoy others.”

“That basically means children who say ‘no’ to their parents more than a certain number of times,” Kinderman said. “On that criteria, many of us would have to say our children are mentally ill.”

(Editing by Andrew Heavens)

Mrs. Sparkly’s Ten Commandments–“Tag, I’m IT!”

Whoo-Hoo! I was so excited to wake up this morning and find that I had been tagged in this fun, little adventure of Mrs. Sparkly’s Ten Commandments. From now until the end of this post, or rather as soon as I post it, I will be “IT!” Thank you, thank you, thank you, adollyciousirony at allaboutlemon for tagging me in this delightful activity!

“I am certain that Mrs. Sparkly, a woman of high expectations, commitment and integrity would agree with this approach. She is notable, respected in her own community and likely to be peering down upon us; possibly spell checking and taking notes that feed into a mammoth government information data collection system (MGIDCS). She may have been recruited because of her discretion and integrity even behind closed doors.”

 

The rules of engagement are:

Ten Questions must be answered with complete honesty or Mrs. Sparkly will find you. Mrs. Sparkly-we love you. We Do! Manners and behavior, words beyond reproach… Then tag five other people.

The Ten Questions:

1.Describe yourself in seven words.

Honest, Creative, Loyal, Inquisitive, Imaginative, Intelligent, Procrastinator

2. What keeps you up at night?

My Penn State University Studies and Molly, our 11-year-old Boston Terrier

3. Whom would you like to be?

I would like to be a Psychologist in the gay community. I am working on getting there and have no doubt I will succeed.

4. What are you wearing now?

Wearing? I’m supposed to be wearing something?

5. What scares you?

Falling, Rodents, and the Wind (I know! How sad, huh?)

6. What are the best and worst things about blogging?

The best thing, of course, is that I love to write! Blogging gives me an avenue in which to write anything I want to at any time of day or night. The worst thing is that I love to blog—when I don’t have the time, because my school work is my priority right now, I become over-anxious.

7. What was the last website you looked at?

Well, since I am on WordPress.com right now, then the last website I was on was either psu.edu or dictionary.com—I am not quite sure, as I had been alternating between the two when my computer crashed at 3:30 AM, thereby releasing its grip on me and allowing me to go to bed finally.

8. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?

Yikes! This is a serious question, and because I do not want to disrespect Mrs. Sparkly, I will give it a serious and honest answer. My life has not always been pretty. Through abuse in my past marriage, extreme anxiety, seven years of active drug use, which caused me to experience poverty and homelessness, I was not a good mother to my children. My boys are now 19 and 14 and live with their half-siblings in Washington, while I am here in Pennsylvania continuing my education and working diligently on bettering myself, not only for my sake, but for theirs as well. The most psychological and emotional damage has fallen to my youngest son, and though he is content and we are closer than we have been in a very long time, I still feel that I am failing him. The one thing I would change about myself, and I am actually working on it, is to become the mother I should have been from the beginning. I try not to dwell on the past, which cannot be changed, but to remain in the here and now, as that is where I can make change happen.

9. Slankets, yes or no?

Very interesting question and I must say, I am intrigued. As others before me have said, I do not know what this word, slanket, means. So, I too. looked the word up on dictionary.com and had to do a little investigating. The closest thing I could come to, other than ‘blanket’ was that the word ‘slank,’ the past tense of ‘slink’, which means, in its various forms (verb, adjective, noun)—

verb (used without object)

1. to move or go in a furtive, abject manner, as from fear, cowardice, or shame.

2. to walk or move in a slow, sinuous, provocative way.

verb (used with object)

3. (especially of cows) to bring forth (young) prematurely.

noun

4. a prematurely born calf or other animal.

adjective

5. born prematurely: a slink calf.

Confused yet? Ha-ha! Don’t worry, it gets better. Next I looked up the suffix –et which is also grouped with –ette, and is generally used on the noun tense of the word, which according to msu.edu, this suffix means small one, group (midget, octet, baronet). So, where does that bring us to? It looks like ‘slanket’ means a small premature calf. But wait! The question says, ‘slankets,’ which means plural, or in this case means small premature calves.  And with that, my answer is a resounding NO!

10. Tell us something about the person who tagged you.

I know her as adollyciousirony (he-he…that is a pretty good start of a description already!). She is fun, creative, energetic, and happy. I enjoy visiting her blog because there is always something new and different and reading her posts regularly put me is such a good mood, and inspires me to write more myself. This wonderful blog, allaboutlemon, has a very positive effect on me, as it will you. Just click the link and I promise, it will be a very enjoyable experience!

I’m passing Mrs. Sparkly’s Ten Commandments on to:

bipolarmuse, because…no, she is Too amazing for words. Click, read, and you will see what I mean.

Kellie See, because I am studying psychology, while she is studying art, so it is here that I can obtain many art lessons. Not to mention, she is truly talented!

The Write Transition, because this blog reads like the author is sitting right in front of you having a conversation…so real!

Thypolar’s life, because she is funny, serious, open, and honest.

Seasons Change, and Change…, because we have so many things in common and I can relate more than she realizes.

ABC-Awesome Blog Content-Award

Guess what??? I have been nominated for the ABC Award! Yes! The ABC stands for Awesome Blog Content. And this very kind and generous nomination was passed on to me by a beautiful soul, bipolarmuse. Thank you so much for this wonderful award, for reading my blog, and finding me worthy of this amazing recognition. I am sincerely honored, especially coming from you!

Here are the rules for this award:

1. Thank the person who nominated you

2. There is no limit to how many fellow bloggers you can nominate so go wild. Hehe.

3. Share some things about you but alphabetically just a word or two about you starting with each alphabet. (Or alternatively, just write the first word you think of.)

Because the following really do have the most Awesome Blog Content, my nominations are:

Soy Luna y me expreso, because she is so straight-forward, candid, and passionate in what she writes, and I have and continue to learn so much from her.

Indulge—Travel, Adventure, and New Experiences, because I cannot afford to travel the world, but I can do so vicariously through the truly breathtaking recollections and spectacular photos on this blog.

rumpydog, because I love the perspective of dogs and cats!

Artsy Forager, because I love art and this site is beyond Awesome!

Lea & Jay, because I love to eat, so I can pick the recipes I like, pass them on to my gourmet cook roommate, and viola! Bon Appetit!

One Mere Mortal, because the incredible word usage of this poets works is very sensory engaging.

jameezio, because psychology is my current focus and my future aspiration.

Astroglia, because this is a most fascinating blog to read.

Now, me from A to Z–I will do my best.

A—ADORABLE

B—BRAVE

C—COFFEE-AHOLIC

D—DILIGENT

E—EXAMPLE (to others)

F—FRUGAL (because I have to be)

G—GOOFY

H—HONEST

I–INTERESTING

J—JAZZY

K—KIND

L—LOYAL

M—MYSTERIOUS

N—NAÏVE

O—OBSERVANT

P—PEACE-MAKER

Q—QUIET

R—REALISTIC

S—SENTIMENTAL (extremely)

T—TOLERANT

U—UNUSUAL (in my own special way)

V—VIVID

W—WORRY-WART (to a fault)

X—‘XTRAORDINARY

Y—YOUNG AT HEART

Z—ZEALOUS

This was fun and I am looking forward to the next award that may come my way. In the meantime, there are Nine Fabulous Blogs listed above for you to enjoy!

Ladybug in All Her Glory

I Love Ladybugs! I have a lot of reasons why I love them, but before I get to my silly, personal reasons, allow me to share with you one of the most important! “The Ladybird [Ladybug] street tile is a symbol against ‘senseless violence’ in The Netherlands and is often placed on the sites of deadly crimes” (Digitalism Magazine). I realize that the following paragraph has a lot of big, foreign words in it, however, the information is worth choking through (or skipping over) those words and I believe an example that should be followed in other countries, as well. I, personally, am going to see what it will take to establish this awareness in my own country, America! I am open to any and all suggestions on this, so please, feel free to comment your hearts out!

“The Dutch call the Ladybug an Onze-lieve-Heersbestje , a crude translation being ‘Our dear Lord’s Little Beastlet.’ It’s not surprising that the Ladybird is the Dutch National symbol against aggression and mindless violence with well over 300,000 people who wear the Ladybird pin expressing this symbolic sentiment. Since July 2004, NRG Rex-Rotary Netherlands has been one of the official ambassadors of the Dutch National Foundation Against Senseless Violence…Landelijke Stichting Tegen Zinloos Geweld (LSTZG). Bart Wisbrun started the Foundation in 1997 with the Ladybug paving stone which literally paved the way for others around the world to think the same. NRG Rex-Rotary [in the] Netherlands had salespeople place 250 paving stones in school playgrounds as part of the Foundation’s philosophy that by not treading on this paving stone and by walking around it carefully it would remind us of what the Ladybird stands for” (Digitalism Magazine ©).

I also found this fun little bit of information on Wikipedia; “Ladybirds are and have for very many years been favorite insects of children, who are reputed to regard them tenderly. The Ladybird is immortalized in the children’s nursery rhyme extant:

Ladybird, Ladybird, fly away home
Your house is on fire and your children are gone
All except one, and that’s Little Anne
For she has crept under the warming pan.”

In many places is North-Europe, tradition says you get a wish granted if a Ladybug lands on you. I have always believed that too, though I am not from Northern Europe. If you Google “symbolism of Ladybugs” you will find a list of sites that have a variety of said symbolises. If you count the spots of a Ladybug that lands on you, it will indicate how many months before true love finds you. Or, a Ladybug that lands on your arm is said to measure you for gloves to be worn at your wedding, which you can expect to take place in one year. Ladybugs bring love, luck, and loot—the financial kind. And you have to admit, for an insect, it is pretty darn cute. Did you know they have an array of colors, not just red, but orange, yellow, and even some shades of purple? One myth says that the number of spots on a Ladybug’s wings indicate its age, but that is just a myth because a Lady never tells her age.

You may also thank the Ladybug, as they are loved by farmers. Why is that? Because Ladybugs gobble up aphids at a rate of nearly 75 per day—each! More Ladybugs mean less pests, which lead to bigger and healthier crops, thus lower prices at the supermarket. Sure, ok, theoretically anyway. But enough of the boring facts. Why do I love Ladybugs?

When I was a very young child, my Aunt Terry was killed in a drunk driving accident. It was July 4th, and it was her 25th birthday. She and my Uncle Kyle were on their way to Memaw and Pappy’s house for dinner, birthday cake, and presents. A truck came out of nowhere, driven by a 15-year-old girl, with two more girls her age in the seat beside her. They had all been drinking and instead of stopping at the stop sign, they slammed into the passenger side of my uncle’s truck. My aunt died two hours later at the hospital.

Less than a year later, my Memaw died. Her death certificate says she died of heart failure, but my mother always said she died of a broken heart at the loss of her youngest child. All I knew was that my heart had been broken and I didn’t think I would live much longer myself. I was only eight, but had never experienced the kind of pain that the loss of my beloved Memaw caused me. I never wanted to love anyone as much as I loved her ever again and risk feeling this awful when they were taken away from me.

Sometime later, (maybe about two years…I’m not exactly sure) my Uncle Kyle got married again to a beautiful and wonderful woman who was called Bunny by her family and friends. I tried to ignore her, though she was always so nice to me and talked to me more than most adults did. I couldn’t help it; I came to adore her (I still do). Aunt Bunny called me Ladybug. I loved walking into their house and hearing her say, with a huge smile on her face, “Well, hi there, Ladybug! Fancy seeing you here” and we would laugh. She spent a lot of time with me. Aunt Bunny would bake with me, do my nails, perm my hair, and let me dress up in her many gorgeous outfits that filled her walk-in closet. She hummed all the time and it was a very soothing and comforting sound.

I have loved Ladybugs ever since. I have Ladybug earrings, a Ladybug planter, Ladybug stationary, a “beanie” Ladybug, and a stuffed bear in a Ladybug costume, just to name a few. In this past year, I have made a new friend. She is smart, funny, very caring, and is wiser than she knows. From our first conversation, I found her to be comfortable to talk to and I immediately  developed an admiration for her that had a really familiar feel. It didn’t take long to remember, and so, in honor of those precious memories, I often call this very dear friend of mine, Ladybug!

Cultural Artifacts

Here is a preliminary list of the main “bowling” artifacts that I have either seen, heard about, or made note of on my first initial visit to my site, Summit Lanes Bowling Center. Some of these items are self-explanatory, while others may require a little explanation, which I will provide alongside the particular item.

Bowling balls

Bowling shoes—shoes with a slick bottom are used by bowlers so their feet do not stick to the lane and cause them to trip or fall when releasing their weighty bowling ball. Some people have bought their own designer shoes, while most others can rent them for an additional fee when they pay for games. I believe shoes are included in the league sign-up fees.

Bowling bags

Hand brace—this is similar to what you would see someone with carpal tunnel wear. At the top of the brace, there is a hole for the thumb and a contoured piece that rests along the back of the hand, while the remainder of the brace fits snuggly around the wrist, keeping hand and wrist aligned. it is generally constructed of plastic and canvas and has Velcro straps to secure it. This is used by some bowlers to either provide support for their wrist or to keep their wrist from twisting when they release the ball, thereby changing the course, or path, the ball will take down the lane and ultimately hit the pins at a desired angle.

Fitters (for finger holes in balls)—bowling balls are generally custom-made to fit the individual bowlers hand; however, if the holes drilled become too large (not drilled exactly right from the beginning, or the bowler loses a significant amount of weight) or the bowler does not have their own ball and uses one of thousands provided by the alley for visitor use, these fitters go into the holes to make the ball easier to grip and hold onto.

Towels

Powder pouches—these are similar to what gymnasts use to absorb moisture from their hands, thereby preventing the grip on the ball as being too slick in some cases, or sticking in others.

Lanes—made of wood and kept oiled (I am not certain at this time what kind of wood or what kind of oil).

Lane approach—this is a length outside the lane, a sort of “running start” that bowlers use to approach the edge of the lane where they release the ball.

Arrows on lane approach—these arrows are located on two points of the lane approach. One set is immediately upon steeping onto the “platform” from the sitting area, the other is halfway between the first set and the edge of the lane. Some people use the ones farther back due to long legs or a need to take more steps in their approach. I cannot recall how many arrows go across the line, but will check on my visit this evening, but do know they are there to guide the bowlers approach.

Pins

Ball return—this unit sits on the beginning of the platform edge, dividing two lanes. It is the machine that brigs your ball from the back where they hit the pins, under the alley and up onto a circular catch podium where bowlers can retrieve their balls for their next turn.

Fan—found on the ball return, another way that bowlers can dry the sweat from their hands if necessary.

Racks for balls—these racks line the entire set of lanes, on a higher platform (which is the “main floor,” just above the seating area, and contains several rows of bowling balls with varying weights for visiting bowlers.

Score board—an electronic score keeping board that hangs from the ceiling, centered with the score table, which is located in the seating area just behind the ball return.

Score table—this table used to be where using a score card and golf pencil, bowlers would keep track of everyone’s score; however, thanks to technology, score keeping is computerized. The table holds a touch screen where you can enter bowler’s names and in what order you have chosen to bowl.

Seats

Lockers

Bowling ball cleaning machine—this machine is exclusively for cleaning bowling balls, takes money like a vending machine, and will clean and polish one bowling ball at a time.

Subculture and Fieldsite Proposal

On my way home from a doctor’s appointment, I saw the perfect site that I believe contains the perfect subculture for an ethnographic study; the bowling alley! I instantly thought of the essay we, as a class, read called “Friday Night at Iowa 80.” At the truck stop, Iowa 80, there was so much more than I ever would have known without having read Rick Zollo’s findings. Just as the truck stop had more than just fuel pumps, restrooms, and a restaurant and little store, so the bowling alley has more than just bowling lanes, restrooms and a restaurant. This particular bowling alley, Summit Lanes Bowling Center, located at 3 Park Drive East in the Pocono Summit of Pennsylvania, also has pool tables, a pro shop, an arcade, a children’s playroom, a restaurant and separate lounge, meeting hall, and locker rooms. They hold leagues for all ages and host tournaments for both bowling and pool. There are many employees along with league bowlers and walk-ins. They have their own way of dressing, their own rules, rituals, and rivalries, not to mention the smattering of artifacts exclusively found in a bowling alley. Though the site itself is a “bowling alley” I am thinking of this subculture more along the lines of a world games and game players.

I am eager to begin watching, listening, learning the specific behavior and language of both the patrons and the employees, and finding out what their shared interests and values are. I think it will be interesting to learn why there are so many leagues and why so many people choose to participate. I would really like to find out the history of bowling, how and when it started, who started it, and why. I want to learn what is involved in the pro shop other than a place to buy bowling balls and any other number of items used in bowling, and what those items are. I want to learn how much interaction goes on, on a personal level, between the leaguers and the staff and what is the most common age group that frequents this establishment. I am also interested in whether the leaguers have the same type of attitude to the walk-ins as did the truckers to the non-truckers at Iowa 80. Other questions I intend to answer are, does the arcade bring in people and what age group, outside of the bowling activities. What is the children’s playroom and does it have someone there to supervise and look after the children? Does this service bring in more bowlers than otherwise would be there without the playroom? Quite honestly, there are just too many variables of what I will learn to try to list them all in advance, as there may be more than meets the eye that I have yet to discover.

Other than observing and talking to different people about different aspects, I also hope to get involved as well. I may join a league, if it is not too expensive, or just bowl a few games and do a kind of comparison between myself and others who are there at the time. I love to shoot pool, though the way I play is called “slop” because I don’t know the actual rules of playing, but only how to aim and shoot, hoping for the best. I, of course, will eat in their restaurant and play a little of this or that in the arcade. I anticipate spending a considerable amount of time in the pro shop, as just from a glance, there is quite a lot going on in there. And finally, if the children’s playroom is run by volunteers, I may take a shift or two there and talk to the children and get an insight on their experience at the bowling alley.

I have been in bowling alleys at different times in my life and for different reasons. When I was five years old, my dad taught me how to bowl and signed me up for a league or two. That was 35 years ago, so I do not remember much about the bowling alley itself or its patrons; only the coaching I received from my father and Uncle Zach, a colleague and friend of my dad’s. I still have the tiny little bowling shirt I wore adorned with several patches for things like “most improved average,” and “highest score.”

When I was 19 years old, I moved to Oregon and lived in an apartment that was one block east of the bowling alley. My roommate worked full-time and was almost never home, and I did not feel comfortable being alone in the apartment. I went to the alley, one parking lot over, and felt it would be a good place to hang out where I wouldn’t be completely alone, in spite of the fact that I didn’t know anyone there. I would sit in the restaurant, oblivious to all the people and activities around me, writing for hours in my journal.

On the occasion that my dad would come to visit me, we would go and bowl a few games, but during these times, the alley was pretty empty except for a few other amateurs coming in with a group of friends, or parents with their children. Aside from these rare visits with my dad, the last time I was in a bowling alley, was when I was 21 years old. I was nine months pregnant with my first son, and he was five days past his due date, which is why we, my now ex-husband and I, were at the alley to begin with. My hope was that bowling for a couple of hours might finally push my body into labor. (Incidentally, five hours after returning home, I did, in fact, go into labor!) Again, my focus was on mine and my husband’s game, therefore, I paid little to no attention to anything else in my surroundings.

From what I remember, bowlers are loud and animated. Lots of cheering, booing, and joking around goes on. I wonder if it is due to the amount of alcohol consumed by these individuals or is it that they can be in a completely different element among their bowling peers than when out in the real world. Are their rivals with different teams friendly or serious and get a little tense at times? Again, I remember little of being on a league of my own when I was five, and have not paid much attention to other leagues during my other encounters with bowling alleys. I am not certain that I have any biases, as I do not yet have a frame of reference for most of what I will study and research.

I do foresee one potential concern that I am very apprehensive about. I am not only a recovering addict, but have been the victim of severe domestic abuse due to my ex-husband’s alcoholism. Though my marriage ended almost 14 years ago, I still have trouble being around anyone who is or has been drinking excessively. At the same time, I will not assume that everyone I come in contact with will be drinking to excess, if at all. The positive side to this is that I do know how to bow out gracefully from a conversation if the person I am speaking with is making me nervous.

Though I will consider almost anyone I talk to an informant to some degree, if I had to guess who my key informants may be, I would begin with the individuals who work behind the main counter, greeting people as they come in, setting up their games, taking their money, and handing out shoes (this is a very necessary item to be used when bowling due to the type of surface on which they stand, walk, and in some cases, glide toward the alley before releasing their grip on the bowling ball). The main person in charge of each of the different elements, or sections, of the establishment also come to mind. I hope to find one or two individuals, possible one male and one female, who are seasoned veterans of bowling on leagues to provide me with information that newbies may not know. And finally, as I, myself, become involved with some of the different activities, hope to be a key informant of a different kind.

The day we pulled into the lot at Summit, after my doctor’s appointment, I walked in and was immediately fascinated by the sights, sounds, and smells that greeted me. The back wall had brightly colored abstract paintings above the lanes. My nostrils filled with the aroma of fresh, hot popcorn and grilled onions; not a likely combination I would choose to put in my mouth, but my nose didn’t seem to mind at all. I could hear a myriad of voices coming from different distances from all corners of the alley and the familiar THUDswoooooosh, as the bowling balls hit and slid down oiled lanes, and finished with what sounded like hollow, wooden tube wind chimes, (the ball colliding with the pins). Suddenly, an explosion of fireworks under water hit my ears. I have spent almost 20 years of my life as a fast food restaurant manager and could identify the sound immediately as that of a basket of frozen French fries being lowered into a hot vat of oil. I knew right away that this is where I would do my study, providing of course, I received permission to proceed by our professor. I walked slowly, my eyes darting to and fro, a look of amazement on my face. My roommate had to tug on my sleeve and redirect my attention to why I was there and what I needed to do.

I first walked up to the main counter and saw a girl standing behind it having a conversation with someone. I was unable to discern whether they were another employee or a customer. I waited a full two minutes before she spoke to me and when I began my little rehearsed speech, “Hi. My name is Cindy and I am a Psychology Major at Penn State University. I have a major assignment in one of my classes…” Once I got past my name, the look on the girl’s face was almost comical. She had a blank look in her wide eyes, similar to that of a deer who stops and looks directly into your headlights on a dark road late at night. My impression was that she was anticipating hearing something she does not usually hear from people who approach her counter. When I finished speaking, she said she wasn’t sure and, as she pointed to someone behind the counter of their restaurant/grill on the opposite side of the entrance, said I would have to talk to the manager.

The excitement I had felt when I first entered was still swirling in my head, so I did not get discouraged, but rather walked right over, and began my speech once again. The manager, a tall, a heavyset man wearing a blue dress shirt with no tie, gave me his full attention, and very quickly gave me full permission to do all that I needed to for this research, including interviews with both employees and patrons and taking pictures. I thanked him and asked for his card. He said he did not have one and it left me wondering, by the look on his face, if he had ever been asked for a personal business card before. He instructed the woman behind main counter to give me a “Birthday Party Flyer” which contained the address, phone and fax numbers, and website on it.

As a final thought, I asked the woman when the most leagues were playing and the best time to come and get a vast amount of information. She said that Wednesday night was their busiest, with 22 different leagues playing from 7 PM to midnight. This will be the main time of the week I go to do research, however, I will also go on various random days at equally random times. I did a very quick walk around, making note of the many sections that the building contained, and finally, with a smile and “thanks again,” I left for the day. I can’t wait to get started!

Just Me, #5

Greetings One and All,

I am writing to you this evening as a form of a reality check. When I started this blog, I was between semesters and had nothing but time to write and write, as much as I wanted, and my earlier postings are evident that I did, indeed, do a lot of writing. I have had an eager and ferocious desire and sincere intent on writing at least one post a day, and believe me, I think about it more often than I should, but this semester is getting more and more demanding and time-consuming. Ahhh… I am experiencing déjà’ vu. I feel I have said this all before, so if I have, please forgive me. My brain is tired.

So, here is my reality. I cannot, no matter how much I want to or should, write something to post on my blog every day. However, I do believe I can and I will try to write something at least once a week. If I can do more, of course, I will, but I am not putting any pressure on myself. If I think I am going to attend Yale or Cornell, I need to accept the fact that my studies and potential grades must come first, especially at $600/credit and $200/book. I cannot imagine that any of you would disagree with that, but if you do, let me say again, I am sorry, but this is the way that it is.

Now, I want you to have something to look forward to, so here is some of what I have been working on when I do have a few minutes here and there to tap out a few thoughts. I am in the process of writing three more Reflections of a Recovering Addict; one regarding a common term used in recovery—Higher Power, one in regards to the importance and equivalence of hours, days, weeks, months, years clean, and the reality that no one has more than the 24 hours in front of them, and one about the friends and family that we gain in recovery that is unmatched anywhere else. I also want to write one about the many friends I have around the world in recovery and how surprised and happy I was to learn (remember, I have a tendency to be naïve) that recovery is available in so many other countries, and how I had no idea.

There are two other pieces I am writing. Manhattan is the name I gave my most adored kitten when she was born on May 11, 2010. Nine months later, she became very sick and in less than 24 hours, I had to take her to the vet, which ended in learning that she had leukemia and had to be put to sleep. I want to write about her and why I think she was, by far, the best kitten on the planet earth, accompanied by a collage of photos of her from her birth to just days before her passing. The other one is about ladybugs. I will leave it that, so I do not spoil the story.

There is one last thing I am considering doing. The Professor in my English class, Writing in the Social Sciences, is having us do an in-depth field research assignment on a subculture in our community. The idea is to choose a subculture, such as a retirement home, a church, music club, or dance studio to name a few, and to spend time there observing the members of the group, how they interact, how they dress, what their reason is for being the group they are; take pictures, do outside research, draw maps, conduct interviews, and so on. We are given many different assignments throughout this project and the end result should tell the reader more about that subculture than they ever knew or believed possible. I have chosen the bowling alley. My reasons for this are outlined in our first assignment which I have just submitted, a subculture and field site proposal. I think it would be fun to post these essays and reports as I go along, and share this experience with all of you. After all, this blog is about detours of my mind, and going to college and all that I learn there is definitely a detour worth writing about. What do you think?

That is all I have for tonight. My plan is to post again by Sunday night. I hope all or  most of you will come back and see what comes next. Pleasant dreams!

-Cindy